Why don't turds freeze?

With the snow that we have been having the last couple of days, I have not been able to perform the regular 'turd patrol' in the garden. For those of you with dogs. I am sure you will know where I am coming from.

Last night the temperature dropped to -6. Pretty damn cold don't you think?

Barney's turds remained pliable to say the least. Just as soft as the moment they appeared on the lawn. Maybe I have stumbled across a new phenomena. Think off the advantages if you could market an unfreezable product.

Worried about whether you have put antifreeze in the motor? Worry no more. Just stick a dog turd in the radiator and your worries are over.

Got to go. The patent office opens soon and I want to make my millions as soon as poss.

I wuz robbed....

Well we all traipsed down to the local licensed bandits masquerading as a picture house the other day to watch 'Narnia - The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe'

The film was okay I guess. A bit slow starting, but I was a long time recovering from the ultimate shock of forking out a Kings ransom for a few nibbles to chew on whilst watching said movie.

I mean. Come on. Over £7 for a drink, some popcorn and a handful of dubious sweets. It's daylight robbery. I now realise why Mrs K and I rent DVD's to watch in the comfort of our own home.

The experience was also spoiled by a little angel sitting adjacent to moi constantly checking her mobile phone to see if her friend has changed her hair colour or something just as meaningless.

Despite the friendly request before the films start to switch off all mobiles, all the little darlings were constantly flipping their phones just to check their own existence.

At one time, so many phones were being flipped it was like the 'Northern Lights ' in there. You could probably power the National Grid off the glow from these things.

How did we survive before the invention of the cell phone?