Sunday, October 02, 2005
The Invisible Man
It was only when I had quaffed my first pint up the pub last night, that I realised that I indeed was The Invisible Man.
No, not the 'slightly opaque man', nor the 'could barely see me man'. I was the actual article.
"How did you discover that" I hear you asking yourselves?
It was quite simple really. The two barmaids and the landlord were chatting away amongst themselves not ten yards away from me, when I proceeded to catch their attention for the filling up of my pint pot with a (hopefully) lovely frothing glass of Courage Best.
One of these bastions of British pub society glanced my way, so I gave her the old raised eyebrows closely followed by a slight raising of my glass. Standard procedure I thought. Shock, horror. I was promptly ignored. I reverted to plan B. "This never fails", I confidently told myself. Carefully selecting a crisp new ( it was still wet...) fiver from my humble wallet, I casually waved it in the general direction of the barmaids. GASP. I was ignored AGAIN. Then and only then did it dawn on me that I was invisible. There could be no other explanation. Only a desperate cry of "OI", provided me with the beer I by now craved.
So next time dear reader that you are in the pub and you feel a presence by your shoulder. Take heart, it's only me gagging for a beer.