Sunday, October 02, 2005

The Invisible Man

It was only when I had quaffed my first pint up the pub last night, that I realised that I indeed was The Invisible Man.

No, not the 'slightly opaque man', nor the 'could barely see me man'. I was the actual article.

"How did you discover that" I hear you asking yourselves?

It was quite simple really. The two barmaids and the landlord were chatting away amongst themselves not ten yards away from me, when I proceeded to catch their attention for the filling up of my pint pot with a (hopefully) lovely frothing glass of Courage Best.

One of these bastions of British pub society glanced my way, so I gave her the old raised eyebrows closely followed by a slight raising of my glass. Standard procedure I thought. Shock, horror. I was promptly ignored. I reverted to plan B. "This never fails", I confidently told myself. Carefully selecting a crisp new ( it was still wet...) fiver from my humble wallet, I casually waved it in the general direction of the barmaids. GASP. I was ignored AGAIN. Then and only then did it dawn on me that I was invisible. There could be no other explanation. Only a desperate cry of "OI", provided me with the beer I by now craved.

So next time dear reader that you are in the pub and you feel a presence by your shoulder. Take heart, it's only me gagging for a beer.

1 comment:

wonkotsane said...

I was in a club once and couldn't get the attention of the solitary barmaid. In the end I trundled off to the man doing the Karaoke, borrowed his pen and wrote "Server me please" in big letters on my hand and thrust it over the bar in her general direction. She thought it was funny, served me straight away and I had no problem getting served for the rest of the night.