Sunday, July 09, 2006

Poetic justice

I just had to bring to everyone's attention Patrick Barclays article in today's Sunday Telegraph involving a Portuguese journalist at the England v Portugal match.

Although my friend [said journalist] has media accreditation,he had bought tickets for the England-Portugal match so he and his son could sit together in their national colours. They were on the edge of a Portuguese section, overlooked by a dozen Englishmen behaving loutishly. For an hour the swearing and insults were tedious more than anything else, but then Rooney was dispatched and the louts' mood worsened. Suddenly the Portuguese were showered with beer until one of their number, who had noticed an Englishman copiously urinating into a plastic pint-pot moments earlier, warned them not to touch it.

At this point my friend ran out of patience. He asked a steward for help and shortly a female police officer arrived. Once the culprit had been identified, the officer approached him, pointed under his seat to his pint-pot, in which about a third of the amber liquid remained, and asked him what it contained. "Beer," he said. She told him to drink it. He protested that he had done nothing wrong and, reaching for the injured innocence that is the first refuge of such scoundrels, swore that the offence to which she was no doubt referring had been committed by a stranger who had just scarpered.

"Just drink your beer," she said "or you'll be leaving the match with me." He could see that she meant it and, grimacing, downed the stuff in one before stalking off to escape further humiliation.

What a star that police officer was. How I would have loved to have seen the face of the perpretator of that disgusting act. Mind you, given the performance of our boys in the tournament, I don't think I would be tempted to drink my own piss just to stay and watch the game. That IS taking the piss, that is.

Could you envisage one of our boys in blue performing the same actions? In this PC state we now live in. I think not.

I believe Germany did a superb job at what must arguably be the best staged World Cup we have currently witnessed. Must rush out and get some sauerkraut and bratwurst for me tea in honour of a job well done.


Steve said...


I got to the USA v Czech Rep match with my two lads and I can assure you that the organisation was superb. Friendly atmosphere wherever you went and the locals were absolutely first class.

I'm not sorry about missing an England game though. I swore I'd never attend another after my experiences at Old Trafford a couple of years ago when played Leichenstein. After seeing their piss-poor performances in Germany and their pathetic tears at the end I think I might even stop watching them on the box as well.

krip said...

You would have thought that with all the money they 'earn', they might have put on a better showing.
Why do we always have to revert to the 'European' style of footie?
If we played the game like we do at home, maybe the results will come.
On second thoughts, the namby pamby 'Europeans' couldn't handle football played hard and (reasonably) fair.

Jennyta said...

Even a football hater like me can appreciate the great job Germany did as the host country.

Birdman said...

I've drunk beer that tasted worse than piss. Not in Germany though. It is vargut zere.

Yorkshire Pudding said...

How come some idiots pay loads of money to attend football matches but don't really watch the football? They're watching the opposition fans and pissing in pint pots and buying pies instead. Mind you if it was Gillingham out on the pitch I would probably embrace such distractions myself.

krip said...

Oh you've seen the Gills play then? :)